Call of the Wild
by moondragon23
Summary: Shawn decides to assign 'spirit animals' to his friends.


**I do not own Psych or any of its characters. All other publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**This story grew from a conversation I had with my sister about which animal each of the Psych characters was most like. The quiz Shawn and Gus mention is real and those are their real results based on the answers I felt they would give.**

**This story is for Redwolffclaw. Happy Anniversary! I hope you like it.**

* * *

"I still think that test is totally bogus," Shawn said as he entered the station. He stopped at the corner, peaking cautiously into the bullpen. When he saw no sign of his father, he relaxed and resumed walking.

"You only think that because you don't agree with your spirit animal." Gus smirked at him. "Though I might be upset too if my animal was a but– "

Shawn clamped a hand over Gus's mouth. "Don't say it." He glanced around to check if anyone was listening to them. Luckily, by now most of the station had learned to ignore most of their arguments and were busy going about their tasks.

Gus pulled the hand off his face and took a quick step back. "What, don't want everyone to know you're a _butterfly_?" He said the last word loudly, and Shawn saw several people nearby glance over with interest.

"Dude, do you know how embarrassing that is?" Shawn hissed. "I am not a bug."

"You sure bug me a lot," Gus said.

Shawn glared at him. "You only like that test because it said you were a bear. Another reason I believe it's crap, by the way."

"Bears are strong, noble creatures," Gus said. "You're just jealous."

Shawn snorted. "As if. Who wants to be a big, fat lazy creature that inspired the world's most popular stuffed animal? I just think the test is wrong."

Juliet wasn't at her desk, though Lassiter was at his. Hopefully that meant they weren't in the middle of a case and he could take his girlfriend out to lunch like he planned. He waved at the older detective as he settled himself in Juliet's desk chair to wait. Lassiter scowled suspiciously at him in return.

"There is no way I'm a butterfly," Shawn said. "If anything I'm a dog. Cute, lovable, and man's best friend. Who's a better best friend than me?" He held his arms out, inviting Gus to respond.

Gus gave him a long look. "Do you really want me to answer that?"

"Come on, man. I'm more like a dog than I am a _butterfly_." He made a face, saying the word with disgust. How could any man stand being compared to such a girly, fragile insect?

"I guess." He suddenly grinned evilly at Shawn. "You are kind of a _dog_," he said suggestively.

Shawn hissed. "Low blow. You know I have a girlfriend now."

Gus shrugged. "I call them like I see them, Shawn."

"Then how about this?" He got up and put a hand on Gus's head, closed his eyes, and pretended to concentrate. He opened his eyes when Gus knocked his hand off his head. "You're spirit animal is the seagull."

"A seagull," Gus said doubtfully.

Shawn nodded. "Yup. You spend all day yelling at people and are incredibly possessive of your food." He dodged the punch Gus aimed at his shoulder, grinning at him. "Seagulls are violent too."

"This seagull is more than able to eat your butterfly ass," Gus said.

"I told you, I'm a dog," Shawn reminded him. "So who would be munching whose ass?"

"You'd have to catch me first. Seagulls can fly." Gus grinned triumphantly. "Now whose on top?"

Shawn noticed a couple of officers snickering as they listened to their conversation. Thinking about what they had just said, he made a face. "Dude, you might want to rephrase that."

"Why? Can't stand the idea of me owning your ass?" Gus taunted.

"Exactly," he said as the officers started laughing quietly.

It took Gus a moment to understand what Shawn was saying. "Shawn, how do you always get me to say crap like that at the station?" he snapped.

"You say that stuff everywhere," Shawn corrected. "It's not my fault you don't think before you open your mouth. Another trait you share with the seagull."

"I don't think?" Gus said indignantly. "You're the one who spent three hundred dollars on eBay on gold coins that turned out to be made out of chocolate."

"And who ate all that chocolate, Mr. Eats-Everything-In-Sight?" Shawn asked. He turned as Juliet approached them. "Jules, don't you think Gus is a seagull?"

Juliet looked between the two of them. "Do I want to know what he means?" she asked Gus.

"We took a quiz online to tell us what our spirit animals are," Gus explained. "_One_ of us," he shot Shawn a look, "didn't agree with what the test said and decided to make up his own answers."

"What animal did it say you were, Shawn?" Juliet asked.

"A butterfly," Gus said before Shawn could stop him.

Juliet grinned. "A butterfly? Really?"

"Butterflies signify change, or something," Shawn said defensively. "Anyway, as I was explaining to Gus, the test is obviously wrong. I think my spirit animal should be a dog."

Juliet tilted her head thoughtfully. "I can see that. You are awfully cute and friendly."

He decided to let the cute comment slide. No guy over the age of five likes to be called cute, but she _was_ his girlfriend. He had learned to pick his battles. "And Gus is obviously a seagull."

His friend glared at him as Juliet looked over at Gus. "I guess I can agree with that. You do get very protective of your food."

"Told you," Shawn said with a smug grin.

"What about me?" Juliet asked eagerly.

"You are most definitely a cat," Shawn declared. "You're cute, cuddly, beautiful." She blushed at the compliments, nodding for Shawn to go on. "But piss you off and you have claws baby."

Juliet frowned. "And what is that supposed to mean?" she asked sharply.

Shawn held up her hands calmingly. "Just that you can handle yourself in a fight. You don't need anyone to protect you."

Juliet considered this for a moment before nodding slowly. "All right. I like that."

Shawn let out a small sigh of relief. _Exactly like a cat._

"What are you numbskulls doing now?" Lassiter asked, walking over to them. "You better not be distracting my partner from getting real work done."

"Shawn is divining our spirit animals," Juliet said.

Lassiter looked at him skeptically. "Spirit animals? Really, O'Hara, I'm surprised you're letting him waste your time with this crap."

"Oh, don't be jealous. I'll figure out your animal too." Shawn reached up placed his hand on the side of the detective's face and closed his eyes. "Oh great spirits, what animal do you feel is worthy of this man?"

Lassiter slapped his hand away. "Knock it off. I don't believe you're psychic and I certainly don't believe in having spirit animals."

Shawn tilted his head thoughtfully as he studied the detective."I would say Lassie here is a chihuahua."

Gus snorted. "One of those yappy dogs women carry around in their purse?"

Shawn grinned and nodded. "That's the one." He turned to the scowling detective. "You snap at everyone around you and act more important than you are. It's a perfect match."

"Very funny Spencer," Lassiter snapped. "Why don't you take your act out of here and sell it to someone who gives a damn?"

"Carlton, he's just joking around," Juliet said soothingly, trying and failing to hide a grin.

Lassiter continued to glare at him and now Shawn could see a hint of hurt in the detective's gaze. The older man tended to take insults personally and he felt bad now for making that comparison.

"I'm just kidding Lassie," Shawn said, throwing an arm around the detective's shoulder. He felt Lassiter tense under him and a low growl start in his chest. "You're much too dangerous to be such a puny creature. You're a top predator, lord of all you see. Something that strikes fear into the hearts of criminals everywhere. You, my friend, are a leopard."

"A leopard, huh?" Lassiter said, intrigued by the idea. After a moment, he seemed to realize Shawn's arm was still around his shoulder. He looked at Shawn pointedly and the younger man quickly moved it before something unfortunate happened to it.

"I think it's perfect," Juliet said. "I've seen you stare down suspects until they confess. A leopard suits you."

"All right, I can live with that," Lassiter said. "Much better than a seagull." He shot Gus a smug look.

"What about Marlowe, Shawn?" Juliet asked.

Lassiter turned to glare at him, suddenly on the defensive. "Yeah, Spencer, what about my girlfriend?" he growled.

Shawn decided once again he may have guessed a little too well which animal the detective was most like. He thought very carefully before he answered. "Marlowe is a kitten. She's cute and adorable and very sweet." Lassiter smiled slightly, clearly agreeing with Shawn's assessment. "But she also has claws and can defend herself if she needs to."

"That's my baby," Lassiter said proudly.

"Hang on," Juliet said with a frown. "How come Marlowe's a kitten and I'm a cat?"

"Cats are older and more sophisticated than kittens," Shawn knew immediately he had said the wrong thing as both detectives glared at him.

"Are you saying I'm _old_?" Juliet asked angrily.

"Marlowe is a fine, upstanding woman," Lassiter snapped, taking a menacing step towards Shawn. "Watch what you say about her."

"I just meant Marlowe is softer, more innocent appearing than Jules but equally capable in a fight," Shawn said quickly. He let out a soft sigh as Lassiter appeared somewhat mollified by the statement.

"So what, I'm old and tough? Is that what you're saying?" Juliet asked, still angry with him.

"Um." He glanced over at Gus. "Help me out, buddy?"

"I'm sorry, but apparently I'm too busy looking for food to steal." Gus crossed his arms, doing nothing whatsoever to help his friend out of his predicament.

"Jules, honey, you need to calm down. You're a seasoned police officer and Marlowe, though a great woman," he added, hoping to forestall any arguments on Lassiter's part, "is a civilian. I simply meant you are more capable of handling yourself in a dangerous world."

Juliet stared at him for a tense moment before nodding slowly. "OK, I think I understand."

"Wait, are you saying Marlowe can't handle herself?" Lassiter asked. "Because my baby can certainly take anything you throw at her."

Shawn sighed. There really was no pleasing everyone. Looking around the station for a distraction, he saw Henry walking over to his desk. "How about we move on to someone else?" He headed quickly over to his dad's desk before either detective could start yelling at him again.

"I don't have a case for you," Henry said as soon as Shawn reached him.

Shawn sighed dramatically. "Can't a son just come over to say hi to his father without having an ulterior motive?"

Henry gave him a long look. "Other sons, perhaps. You, not so much."

"That hurt me, right here." Shawn patted his chest vaguely where his heart is. "In my feelings place."

Henry rolled his eyes. "So what's this really about?" he asked, looking at the two detectives and Gus.

"Spencer is _divining_ what everyone's _spirit_ _animal_ is," Lassiter said. Shawn didn't think he had ever heard that much sarcasm in one sentence before.

"Oh, really?" Henry asked. "So what does that make you, Shawn? A raccoon? You sure steal enough things from me whenever you're at the house."

Shawn shuddered. "Please don't compare me to those masked devils. Those things are pure evil."

"Shawn believes he's a dog," Gus said.

"He certainly runs off like one, among other things," his dad said with a knowing grin.

"Well, I think you're a mosquito," Shawn snapped. "Whenever I'm around you I hear a constant buzzing in my ears and feel the life getting sucked out of me."

"Shawn!" Juliet smacked him on the arm. "That wasn't very nice."

"He started it," Shawn said sullenly.

"That's no excuse," Juliet chided as Lassiter and Gus looked on in amusement. "Do it right."

Shawn sighed heavily and looked at his father. Henry crossed his arms. "Lay it on me, kid"

Shawn thought hard, knowing Juliet would smack him again if he didn't come up with something good. "How about. . . a bear?"

"Shawn, that's my animal," Gus said indignantly.

"No, you're a seagull. My dad is a bear," Shawn corrected. "He's big, tough, loves to fish, and sleeps most of the day. Plus he's super protective." He grinned cheekily at his dad. "I guess that makes you a mama bear."

"I ain't nobody's mother," Henry said. "But I will accept being a bear." He reached over and grabbed some papers off his desk. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get these to Dobson."

Shawn watched his father walk off, shaking his head. "He's grumpy like a bear too." He watched as Dobson called over McNab as soon as Henry hand him the files.

Juliet was watching as well. "How about McNab?"

"Puppy," Lassiter said before Shawn could speak. "What?" he asked at their curious looks. "You have a better suggestion?"

Shawn watched as McNab was sent to make copies for Dobson, an eager smile on the officer's face the whole time. "No, you're definitely right about the puppy thing. That man lives to please." He looked at Lassiter in amusement. "I'm just amazed you're playing along. I thought you didn't know how to have fun"

"I'm plenty fun," Lassiter said defensively.

"Name the last fun thing you did." Shawn held a hand up before he could answer. "Anything work related doesn't count."

Lassiter thought about it for a moment. "The show you guys did for the prison inmates."

"Didn't that end in a riot?" Gus asked skeptically.

Lassiter frowned. "I still enjoyed myself spending time with Marlowe. It counts."

Shawn shook his head. "That's just sad, man."

"How about Vick?" Gus asked.

"Wolf," Shawn and Lassiter said together. They looked at each other in surprise. "Jinx, you owe me a smoothie," Shawn said quickly.

"Vick is the leader and I suppose the station is like a pack hunting down criminals," Juliet said. "It works."

"Woody?" Gus asked.

"A platypus. Doesn't really fit in with the other animals and you're not quite sure what to make of it," Shawn said.

"What about that crazy chick that followed your dad up to that resort?" Lassiter asked.

Shawn smiled fondly. "Crazy Chelsea. Definitely a turkey. That girl had no sense. Though her laugh did remind me of a hyena at times."

"What about that creepy profiler dude?" Gus asked.

"Mary?" Shawn hadn't thought about him in months, not since the funeral. "I'd say a crow. He was smart but in a creepy, I-could-have-ended-up-a-serial-killer-myself kind of way."

"What about Yang?" Juliet asked softly.

They all stood there quietly and thought about the deranged and ultimately innocent (ish) serial killer. "Human," Shawn said finally.

Lassiter nodded. "That level of crazy can only come from man."

"And on that depressing note, Jules and I had better get going," Shawn said. "Gus, you're on your own for lunch. Try cruising along the boardwalk. I'm sure you'll find something to snack on." Ignoring Gus's glare, he turned to Lassiter. "I'll let you slide on the smoothie for now. Just remember I like pineapple."

Lassiter snorted. "In your dreams, Spencer." Shaking his head, he walked back to his desk.

"That jinx was a binding contract," Shawn yelled after him.

"He's not getting you that smoothie," Gus said.

"No, he is not," Shawn agreed sadly. He turned to Juliet. "Ready to go?"

"Let me just grab my purse," Juliet said. "I'll meet you outside.

Shawn watched her walk off, enjoying the view, before he turned to Gus. "See you at the office later?"

"Once I finish my route," Gus said. They headed towards the door, Shawn waving at his dad as they walked past.

"Jerk chicken and Mario Kart?" Shawn suggested.

"You know that's right." When they got outside, Gus bumped his fist against Shawn's. "Later man."

Shawn watched Gus drive off, glad his friend wasn't too mad about the whole seagull thing. There were worse creatures he could have picked. He had considered a turtle; Gus did wax his head a lot.

He didn't have to wait long before Juliet exited the station. "So how does a relationship work between a dog and a cat?" she asked as they walked down the front steps. "I thought they were enemies."

"Don't believe everything you see. Dogs and cats can be the best of friends." Shawn wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her closer. "Much better than a cat and a butterfly."

"I don't think a butterfly is a bad thing to be. Change can be good." She stopped at the bottom of the steps and turned towards him "Lassiter may not want to agree, but I think the station is better for having you around." She smiled up at him. "I know I am."

Shawn felt his heart swell at the look in his girlfriend's eyes. "I'm glad," he said softly. Pulling her off to the side, he kissed her gently. As they broke apart, his stomach started growling loudly. "Guess we better get some food, huh?" he asked with a laugh.

"How about that new Chinese place around the corner?" Juliet suggested.

"Sounds good. Lead the way."

He grabbed Juliet's hand as they headed down the street. She grinned at him, giving it a light squeeze. He thought about all the things that had changed in his life since returning to Santa Barbara and meeting the beautiful detective beside him.

_Maybe being a butterfly isn't so bad._

* * *

**FYI: I am also a butterfly, but since I'm a girl I don't have as much of a problem with it as Shawn does.**


End file.
